This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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