You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
