I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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