I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize