Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
