I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
