please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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