I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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