Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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