apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
