So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
