Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
