One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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