do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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