fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
