can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
