do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
