strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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