Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
