WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
