You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize
