What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize