I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
