I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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