Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
