i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
ttyl tear gas
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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