So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize