i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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