How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
