we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
