He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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