I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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