I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
