I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
