Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
