im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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