looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
