Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
