i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
