Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
