Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
