Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
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