are you still at the devil's house?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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