Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Pants 0. Shit 1.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
