we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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