Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
