Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
