i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
