Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
third nipple confirmed
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
