And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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