I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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