don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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