Sponge bath it is.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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