We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
