69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
