Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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