don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
handjob tips. give me some.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
