if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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